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Just when you thought you saw it all... F**MyLife!
www.fmylife.comToday, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasnt napping. He died. FML
Today, my family and I attended a pool party. I never learned to swim, so I didnt bring a suit. When someone asked why I wasnt in the pool, my sister replied in a loud voice, "Shes on her period and didnt want the pool to get dirty!" Thanks. FML
Today, at work, I answered the phone politely like I always do. The call was for my manager, so I stayed on the line until he picked up the phone, as we dont have a "hold" button. Before I hung up, I heard the caller say, "Who was that bitch that answered the phone?" FML
Today, I was giving a belly scratch to a strangers dog, and I saw what I thought was a tumor. I touched it, only to find out that it was in fact the dogs nuts, not an abnormal growth. My first trip to second base involved groping a Corgi in public. FML
Today, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school that the reason I will not be attending classes is because I have "the shits." FML
Today, I was talking to my tattoo artist about how my girlfriend broke up with me. She had also gotten her tattoos from him, so they had talked quite a bit. He told me she had been cheating on me with her ex for two and a half months. He didnt tell me because he didnt want to lose business. FML
Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML
Today, my dad and his girlfriend left for a 10-day vacation. They booked an expensive beach-house. Im an A grade student and just last month, he stopped paying my school fees because he couldnt afford it. Oh, and hes making me feed the dog while hes away. FML
Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML
Today, I was arrested by the police for sitting in what they thought was a stolen vehicle. After being slammed into the back of a squad car at gun point, they realized the car was actually recovered a week ago. FML
Today, I did a quick load of laundry so I would have work clothes for the week. I dont have my own dryer so I dried them in the one in my building. After running out to my car, I came back to find that my neighborhood kids had added 6 sharpies to my clothes. Every uniform I own has stripes. FML
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